Fearless tool #5 powerless or powerful

Excuses are very attractive but what do they do for you? For me they allow me to not make a decision or to blame others for my current state or to get out of moving forward. Whatever it is, I am really only tricking myself. I make a decision every time I choose to not do something, or I choose others opinions over my own, or I choose to go backwards.

So what do I do to change my choice? I start making choices. I start seeing that everything I do is a choice. I decided how I want to show up in the world. I take away the have to's and the should's and replace them with "I choose to" or "I can". See how this simple shift can change your whole perspective. Start keeping track of your shifts and the difference it brings.  You will see yourself slowly changing and taking back your power. Let's Hatch together one choice, shift, and step forward at a time.

Fearless tool #4 Let it go

Today for fearless tool #4 we are going to discuses a big one. FORGIVENESS! I know! I said it was a big one. Forgiveness is rarely for the other person, it most likely is for your own healing. Not forgiving someone will only hold you back and keep you stuck from being the person you want to be. Rhonda Britten says that not forgiving someone is like taking poison and expecting it to kill the other person. It won't kill the other person but it will damage you! Letting go it never easy and letting go can be done in stages when it is something you find difficult. No matter what someone has done to you no matter there reasons or their own issues that caused them to take such actions you can forgive them. You forgive them for yourself. So that you can move on. It doesn't mean that what they did is okay or that you need to put yourself in the position to be hurt again. It is just you releasing the pain, anger, or lie that you have been holding on to. It can be scary to let go because in some cases it maybe how you define yourself or what you think motivates you forward. It's going to be okay, I promise. You are much more than your pain or story!

One tool you can use in your quest to forgive is a forgiveness letter. Write a letter to this person who hurt you. Forgive them for the things they did to you. Be specific. You can also state the things you are not ready to let go of as well. Continue this process over and over again. You don't need to just do it once. You can write as many letters as you want. You can also write a forgiveness letter to yourself. Forgive yourself for holding on so long to the pain, or your part in the situation, or what ever blame or shame you may have about what happened. Write it all down, and than burn it and release it. Or tear it up into little pieces or send it to the person. It's all up to you. The important thing is to get it all out of you and practice letting it go. You can do it, I believe in you.

As you continue to let go of the pain and negative feelings you will move forward. What are the possibilities of your new life? Only you can tell me that. I would love to hear from you! Also if anyone else has a tool they have used to help them forgive please share it with us here. Forgiving yourself and others will allow you to see yourself in a new light and what is out there for you. Breaking out of the patten of holding on will allow you to become whatever you want! Let's Hatch!

Fearless tool #3 No man is an island

Today's tool is one that may evolve for you, it has for me. The tool is "No one can be fearless Alone". We all need support and we can find that support in few or many. I think sometimes we need more support than others as well as sometimes it is available more at times than others. Our fearbuster team as Rhonda calls it in her book "Fearless Living" is made up of different people.
Wise council: Is someone who is knowledgeable in many areas of life and you trust them. Someone who has been around the block a few times and is willing to guide you in the right directions.
Voice of experience: Is someone with knowledge in a specific area that you are in need of and is willing to share their experience with you.
Powerful Partner: Is someone who you are in a committed relationship with and you have both agreed to support each other and be there for each other no matter what. You have signed a contract or have made an oath to have each others backs, to make decisions that will benefit everyone and your goal.
Cheerleader: Is someone who cheers you on and is always telling you that you can do it. They support your goals and believe in you and what you are trying to achieve. They lift your spirits and keep you positive when times get tough.
You may find that you have people in your life right now who fit into these categories. Be also aware that there are people who may be great in one role and not great in others. Test the waters and see if the people you have in mind are up for the task. As you build your team you will find that having support makes the process much more enjoyable.
This picture is one I have up by where I write, work, and live. I to am in need of support. There are new supporters on here as well as one I've had my whole life and others in between. We are meant to help each other through this life. We bless ourselves when we step out and bless others. Do not deny yourself or your supporters blessings. As you reach out for support you will see it is always there. Continue to add to your fearbuster group as you progress.
There is no need to be the lone egg out by yourself unprotected or supported. Form a group that can help you stay warm and support you in the process of breaking free from your fears. Let's Hatch!

Fearless tool #2 Pat yourself on the back

The fearless tool I'd like to share today is Acknowledgements.

Acknowledgements are quite powerful when used on a regular basis. If you find that you are; beating yourself up, or not giving yourself credit where credit is due this tool will help you.

For example someone might ask me "What did you do today Kelly?" My initial reaction is to say "nothing". But that really couldn't be farther from the truth. When I am in the mode of writing acknowledgements I am aware and sensitive to what I have accomplished.

Start by writing down this:  I acknowledge myself for
Then fill in the blank with something you did and be specific. Such as:  I acknowledge myself for cleaning off my desk and getting rid of all unnecessary papers. Or: I acknowledge myself for speaking up for myself during a conversation with my mom about how I'm raising my children my way. Or even:  I acknowledge myself for getting out of bed this morning and taking a shower.

It can be anything you did that day that you may not have done before or lately or whatever. It can be a small or big, professional or personal accomplishment. Always stated in the positive and empowering you to continue on.

I encourage you to find at least 5 things in your day to acknowledge yourself for. As you do this on a daily basis you will see all the other things you use to tell yourself fall away. 

Please let me know how it goes. Also feel free to share your acknowledgements here. We can all support each other to break out of old habits and thought processes. Let's hatch!

Fearless tool #1 True or false

Today I'm going to share with you the tool of  asking yourself "Am I making it up? Or is it true?"

In the beginning of my fearless journey I asked myself this several times a day. I questioned every belief I had about myself, others, and things around me. I even questioned the statements I would make all the time as simple as "I don't like fish.", to "I love my husband and want our marriage to work." I allowed it to open my eyes to what the stories were and where the truth was. I discovered that I am a great story teller and I believed a lot of things that were not true. I had made several things up to protect myself and to blame others for my state of life.

What are you making up? What "truths" are you holding on to, that just are not true? What could happen if you were willing to let go of the lies? What would happen if you too questioned everything you said to yourself and the stories you told others? What if that negative record you played in your head over and over again was swiped clean, and the only things that were really true were allowed back on?

I know for me, I could say it saved my life. But it did more than that because it gave me a better life, a fuller life, and a life where I can do so much more and be so much more than I ever imagined. I have a life now where I no longer live small.

Who wants to break out of their shell of limitations? Great! Let's Hatch!

What tool do you most want in your fearless toolbox?

When we become aware of our negative behaviors it gives us the opportunity to change and make a new choice. If you have expectations or are complaining and making excuses or if you are beating yourself up over what you did or didn't do, there are tools to help you. Over the next while I will be talking about the four tools that support with the above issues and other tools that I have used myself to change my life. They are presented in "Fearless living" by Rhonda Britten. She shows you how with support you can overcome any past to move forward into a life you love and long to be living. I will support you as you break out of your shell and hatch into a strong, confident, happy person. People are meant to have joy!