Fearless Fox Friday!

I posted not that long ago on my Facebook page about my depression and it got a lot of response. I decided to repost it here to give it "a space".

Fearless Fox Friday!

My father committed suicide when I was 15 years old. It was beyond devastating to me and my family. This was not my first exposure to suicide, I don't know what was. But when I was in 8th grade I went around saying one day that I was going to kill myself when I got home from school. No one took me seriously or maybe nobody was listening, except my friend Suzi. She made me come home with her that day and talk about what was going on with me. I'll never forget her care and kindness.

Depression is a disease. It doesn't care that you are rich, successful or a parent. It's not something that goes away or takes a day off. The darkness is always there. On your bad days it makes sense and on your happy days, it drives you insane. It's calling for you, waiting for you to put your guard down long enough to get you.

It's a thought every day. Mostly fleeting because it's so common. I don't talk about it because it scares or makes one uncomfortable or you get accused of making excuses or being dramatic or too sensitive. People like what they can fix. You can't fix me. Only I can learn more and better ways to manage and quiet the voice. I hate when people say "It's just one day" it's my whole life, or "just think happy thoughts" I do.

Looking at me you might think, I'm a happy person and have lots to be grateful for. I am, and I work hard every day to be so! It's very possible to make life easier and even enjoyable. I have learned a way that works for me. If you are interested in how? Please contact me. If you or someone you know is looking for tools like that? I will help!

Fearless Fox Friday!

Expiration dates. Do you follow them? Do you pay attention to them? Might you follow when it comes to milk, but not when it comes to mascara?

Fearless Fox Friday!

I've been thinking about expiration dates because I've been de-cluttering and organizing my home. So many things have an expiration date. My lovely organizer helps me to let go. I put such value on everything that I've bought that I don't want to let it go even if it's gone bad or is no longer effective. We've thrown away medication, baking powder, and chocolate! Most of the time I don't think about effectiveness or quality of a product.  I just think, I have it and I don't want to buy more.

Do we do this with our lives?

This is also a question I have been asking myself.  Do I hold on to emotions and feelings longer than needed? Do I keep myself in situations that are spoiled? Do I look at the effectiveness of my thoughts? Do I keep labels way after they are stale and no longer true?

How often do we put a value on the pain or time we have put into something above what is most important? Our dreams, our happiness,  our peace, our ability to move forward, these are the things we could be valuing.

What would happen if we all decided to throw it all out? All the expired thoughts, feelings, and excuses. All the self-doubt, judgment, and worry. Who would we be? What could we do?

If you are ready to get cracking, join me! I'm ready. Together we can clean house. We can go through and find all those rotten thoughts, stale judgments, and ineffective feelings. We can let go of the expired stuff holding us back! We can move forward and Hatch!

Let's Hatch and be Rock Stars!

Contact me at letshatch@gmail.com

Fearless Fox Friday!

I have been talking lately about how I have let go of labels and ways of thinking about who I am. Let me go further with that thought today.

Fearless Fox Friday!

I grew up in a family where my position was the 8th girl and soon followed up 4 years later by the long awaited miracle only boy. Because of this, my little heart took on thoughts and feelings about myself that were untrue.

I felt invisible, second best, a disappointment, and unwanted. Later I took on being too small to be capable of doing anything on my own or knowing anything for myself.

As I continued to grow I took on more labels. With choices that I made, I made them define me. I took on lazy, stupid and ugly.

I wore these labels with shame. I tried to hide "the real me" away, hide her from view. I developed a face for the world that I thought it would like better.

I was funny and always said yes and tried to please and keep everyone happy. I failed at this impossible task over and over again. This would be evidence of the truthfulness of the lies I was telling myself.

I was a great collector of evidence. Every time I was looked over, forgotten, or put down it was further evidence to the lie. I constantly compared myself to all those around me. I felt as if I could never measure up. For awhile I gave up, I almost tried to be the negative image I had. To my detriment that just created habits that were hard to break later, and only really affected myself. I also tried to be the good girl. That became isolating and lots of pressure to hold up to a certain standard.

This last year and a half or so I have taken on new experiences, I have challenged myself to the max, and I have tried new tools like EFT in my battle against fear. I had to accept that I had felt these things and thought these things about myself. I had to be okay with the fact if they were true. Then I had to get to the truth. Not someone else's version of me, but mine alone. Who was I going to be going forward? Who was I going to accept into my life now? How was I going to see me, and love me? I started taking care of myself. I started doing nice things for myself. I started caring about me.

I feel like I have hatched into more of who I really am. I have let go of the labels and started to embrace the "real me". This has been a painful process at times and a liberating one too. I have felt great sorrow and great joy. I was ready to really examine my life, and I am willing to do the work.

Does this speak to you? Can you relate at all to my story? Do you feel lost in the lies that you have been taking on as truth?

If you are ready and willing to do the work, then let's get cracking! Let's start to find those labels you have and challenge them! Let's Hatch into Rock Stars!

Kelly Fox
Letshatch@gmail.com

Fearless Fox Friday!

I made a statement on Facebook recently that I was no longer going to live a half life. It was my declaration to the "world" that I am no longer going to play small. I was asked shortly after what did I mean by this statement? Well here is a further explanation of what I meant and how I am going to try to live.

Fearless Fox Friday!

When I hear the term half life I geekily think of the moment in the Harry Potter movie where one character explains the effects of drinking unicorn blood, My life is much less dramatic but it's a visual for me. I feel like I live a life of indecision and waiting. I feel like I am constantly holding my breath and my body is always on high alert. I'm powerless to make changes or make my life the way I want it. That I merely exist to fulfill someone else's desires or expectations for my life.

Now I have made steps toward changing this about myself. I feel like I have challenged a lot of labels and untruths that I have told myself for a long time. Maybe lies that I have held onto for my whole life. I have taken steps to shine and show who I am. I have walked away from small incapable Kelly and have tried to embrace powerful capable starlet Kelly. Some days are easier than others.

Back to my statement. I am vowing to live a conscious, mindful life. One of choice and passion and purpose. One without compromise to myself. One that makes me proud of myself and is determined by me and not others. A commitment to myself. Action on the things I am prompted to do. A life of getting up and doing. No more seeing things as impossible. Finding a way to make all of it happen, even if by myself. Learning the things I need to know to move forward where I haven't been able to. Continuing to challenge the lies of my fear and past. Loving myself more than ever before!

It won't be easy, but I'm kind of tired of easy. My anxiety is coming up already. I can do this. I am capable. I am strong. 

If my journey sounds similar to you or resonates with you? Email me and we can do this together.

Let's Hatch

letshatch@gmail.com

Fearless Fox Friday!

Fearless Fox Friday!

Desires, wants, dreams can often get stuck in the land of expectations. Either the expectations you have of yourself or others stops you from moving forward, taking a risk, or making a decision.

What can you do to move forward? First, we must be aware. Aware of what you are wanting really, free of judgment. Aware of what you are expecting from yourself and others. Aware of your willingness to make different choices.

Now that you are aware, the ball is in your court. You have the power and you get to choose to create a new life or experience for yourself. The sky is the limit. What will you do? If you would like support in figuring that out? Contact me. We'll get cracking.

Let's Hatch

Fearless Fox Friday!

What are the silent contracts you have going on?

Fearless Fox Friday!

We all have silent contracts. We have them with ourselves and others. They keep us in waiting mode, or frustrated, or feeling lazy and unaccomplished. Which is never a fun place to be.

We might get stuck in our head with negative thoughts like, "I can't depend on anyone, but myself" or "This person is such a flake, they don't care about this." When that could be completely not true.

Or we can get stuck in our feelings of feeling worthless or unlovable. Telling yourself, "I can't do anything about this, they have all the power" or "no one loves me or cares about me enough for them to take action, not even myself."

So, are you asking, "What can I do to change?" Great! Because that is the first step. The next is to express what those silent contracts are. Write them down or have an open conversation with the person who you want them from. Tell people what you want or need from them. No one can read your mind. Sometimes not even yourself. Get clear on what it is that you want and start going for it! Asking for it! Getting it!

Need help figuring all that out? Contact me. I can help you out. We'll crack through that shell and get to what it all is.

Let's Hatch! 

Fearless Fox Friday!

What are the silent contracts you have going on?

Fearless Fox Friday!

We all have silent contracts. We have them with ourselves and others. They keep us in waiting mode, or frustrated, or feeling lazy and unaccomplished. Which is never a fun place to be.

We might get stuck in our head with negative thoughts like, "I can't depend on anyone, but myself" or "This person is such a flake, they don't care about this." When that could be completely not true.

Or we can get stuck in our feelings of feeling worthless or unlovable. Telling yourself, "I can't do anything about this, they have all the power" or "no one loves me or cares about me enough for them to take action, not even myself."

So, are you asking, "What can I do to change?" Great! Because that is the first step. The next is to express what those silent contracts are. Write them down or have an open conversation with the person who you want them from. Tell people what you want or need from them. No one can read your mind. Sometimes not even yourself. Get clear on what it is that you want and start going for it! Asking for it! Getting it!

Need help figuring all that out? Contact me. I can help you out. We'll crack through that shell and get to what it all is.

Let's Hatch! 

Fearless Fox Friday!

This week I posted a video about dealing with lemons or even lemon trees. From there to here my thoughts have been open to change.
Where is my focus and how flexible am I?

Fearless Fox Friday!

I can be very focused and driven when it comes to getting something done. I plan out what I need to do in order and construct a plan of attack. I engage those I need help from or support to get moving forward. I do tons of research and find the best options.

The second I get opposition I start to either give up or fight harder. I don't really have a middle ground. I might have said I gave up, but secretly I'm still planning quietly.

It's a challenge for me to let go of a vision completely. I'll start to think, okay if this aspect isn't working then I'll try it this way. If everyone isn't happy about this part, then I'll try it this way. I keep trying different timelines or scenarios until I really give up or I achieve what I'm planning.

This week my fear has me thinking this is me being demanding or pushy. So, I have asked myself, am I willing to change course or shift my intention? Am I willing to shift my vision? Am I attached to the outcome?

What I discovered is, yes I am willing. I'm willing to change, I'm willing to shift. I am not attached to the outcome. What I am attached to is making a change or decision in the direction of the shift. I want some kind of forward movement or thinking and planning.

Where do I go from here? What choices are in front of me? Where does my power for change lie? Am I clear on what I want within those areas where I have power? This is where I am now, contemplating and getting clear.

Where are you in your process? I'd love to support you! If you are ready to get cracking? Contact me. Together we will figure it out.

Let's Hatch

Fearless Fox Friday!

This week is suicide prevention week. As most of you know my dad committed suicide when I was 15, December 18, 1993. My dad was pretty amazing. He was fun and told inappropriate jokes. He was vain and would do squats with us on his shoulders. At 58 I never saw him with One grey hair. I honestly thought he just didn't grey. Really with 8 daughters and a son? I found the hair dye after he died.
The most amazing thing my dad did was see me. I always felt loved and seen and heard by him. He always had time for me. He always had compassion for whatever situation I found myself in. He not only did this for me but all of us. He also loved my mom, very much. I think he loved everyone, but himself.
His suicide had a great effect on me. That might have been obvious. He made it so, when I hated myself and started listening to the darkness, I  can never make the choice he did. Because I will never be able to fully convince myself that my family is better off without me. I know first hand how it felt to be told that my father was dead, and by his own hand. I know the years of pain, years of doubt, years of missed opportunities. This I can never do to someone else. Over the years I have cycled through the emotions. I have tried to focus on the "good things" that came from his decision to take his life. But, no matter how many years pass. I will always want him, always miss him, and always wonder if I could have done something.
So if you are struggling with the darkness? Know you are not alone. Know you are needed, wanted, and greatly loved! Hang on. Reach out. Speak up. Ask for help. You can get pass whatever it is. The darkness is wrong. The darkness lies. The darkness can't win again!
I know the battle is real. We all have scares of some kind to prove it. I am here for you. I will stand by your side. We can be victorious! ♡

Fearless Fox Friday!

Let's get down to basics tonight. What is Fear?

Fearless Fox Friday!

What is Fear? What are you afraid of? Most people don't go around saying "I'm afraid of not being seen or heard" like they do "I'm afraid of spiders". Fear is fear! Being scared of spiders comes from the same place as being scared of being rejected by the cute guy. It all comes from the same place inside you. So what keeps you from smiling at the cute boy, is the same thing that makes you jump when you see a snake or makes your stomach flip when you stand on a tall building and look over the edge.

What am I afraid of? I'll share with you since I'm wanting you to share with me. I'm afraid of not being seen, not belonging to the ones I love and my community. I am afraid of going un-noticed, being second best, and always being seen as a little girl who is not capable of doing big things. I use to let these fears keep me stuck and I used them as a filter when looking at situations in my life and with how others treated me.

If this is sounding familiar to you, know that you can move past this kind of life. You can move past your fears, whatever they are, and have the life you want. You can do the things you want and live the way you want and experience your dream life.

How do you move past your fears? One stretch, or risk at a time. Start stepping out of your comfort zone. Smile at more people, ask your friends out, learn something new. Step by step you start to live another life. You start to become more and more yourself. You start to listen to your "fear" less and your intuition more. You become bigger, you are seen, and your true tribe forms before your eyes. Life becomes one worth living, and getting up in the morning becomes less a chore. You become more grateful and are able to acknowledge yourself for all the great and amazing changes you are making. You look in the mirror and start to love who you see.

Do you want help getting started or at any point along the way? This is what I do! I support you in seeing what you want, and what those stretches and risks are. I keep you accountable to your dreams. I support you to Hatch into the star that you are! Are you ready? Let's start! Let's Hatch!

Fearless Fox Friday!

Fearless Fox Friday!

Do you feel held back? Do you feel like you are being made to be quiet or small? Are you waiting, wishing, and hoping for things to change? Are you constantly frustrated with how your life is going? Do you feel powerless to change any of this? I know how you feel. I have felt this to varying degrees throughout my life.

This is living in expectation of others. Thinking that someone else is going to come along and save you, fix you or rescue you from your current life. This is you giving your power over to someone else, thinking they can live your life better than you. This is waiting for someone to change their mind or ways to please you. This is no way to live a happy life.

The good news is that you can take your power back! You can start making decisions and not excuses. You can start acting where you do have power and taking charge of your life. You can do everything you want to do. You can find people who will want more for you and are willing to support you. You can do more, be more, and live more of the life you want to be living.

Those feelings of discomfort and anguish are signs to you that you yearn for more, for something different. You want your dreams, you want your power, you want to make choices for yourself. You don't want to wait or wish or hope anymore. You are ready to change, you are ready to go forward.

The first key is to be aware that you want something different. Next, ask yourself what you are willing to do. Really connect with yourself and get clear. Have compassion for your past, and know that you have been doing your best. Hold yourself accountable to your new goals and intentions for moving forward. Seek someone who can support you in your new choices and movement. That can always be me. I believe in you and your dreams. Let's Hatch into the stars we were born to be! Contact me at letshatch@gmail.com, we can set up a time to explore what you really want and how you can get there. I look forward to hearing from you!

Fearless Fox Friday!

This week I looked at my quotes that I have gathered on my Let's Hatch pinterest board, and I picked one that spoke to me. I hope it speaks to you as well.

Fearless Fox Friday!

"The grass is green where you water it." I'm sure you have heard this before as well as other comments similar to this idea. We as humans tend to want green grass with no effort. We look around at others' yards and wonder why our grass is not as nice or why we don't have such pretty flowers or why others' are so nicely manicured with rocks or curvy lines. It's because they put in the work to get their yards that way. They do what is necessary to get their grass green. And, most likely they are not sitting around looking at your lawn wondering anything about yours. People who live their lives don't sit around wondering about those who don't. They are too busy living to do so. 

What can you do then? Get busy for sure. Busy doing what? Well, that is totally up to you! The possibilities are right in front of you. You can do anything you set your mind to, if you are willing to step out and take the steps forward needed. Start asking yourself, what are you interested in? What do you dream about? What do you think about and put your energy in?

Where you put your focus is where you are watering. Or in another way of looking at it, there is a story I enjoy about a white dog and a black dog. If you put them in a fight, which one will win? The one you feed will win. So, where do you water? What are you feeding? Are you feeding your fear, or your freedoms and dreams? 

If you need help or want support in figuring out what you want to focus on, email me. We will figure it out together. Let's Hatch into the Rock Stars we are! letshatch@gmail.com

Fearless Fox Friday!

This week has been a struggle. It was our first week of summer and adjusting to that, but there has also has been an internal struggle. I have felt lately like I am being forced to hold my tongue. This isn't really true. I am choosing to not speak. I do this in many areas of my life. I am a peacemaker, and for the most part i hold my tongue for peace and in respect of others and their opinions. Today, I will choose to speak to one. I completely respect that not everyone's feelings will be the same, especially my siblings and mother.

Fearless Fox Friday!

Today I choose to speak about my Daddy. My dad was born in 1935, and grew up on a large ranch in the middle of California. He loved horses and wore cowboy boots. My dad had a sparkle in his eye and was easy to laugh and slow to get mad. He was vain, in my opinion, always concerned with being fit and never with a grey hair. Until maybe a year after he died I thought he had just great genes and didn't grey. With being fit, he never went to a gym. He would put me and my siblings on his shoulders and rise and sit on a chair. He was compassionate to everyone. He and my mom could cut a rug (dance), and he would always do really thoughtful things.

I knew that my dad and I had something in common, low self-esteem. I felt like he felt like he could be doing so much more with his job. I knew he loved me and my siblings and mom very much. I knew he had a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

What I didn't know, and never considered in my 15 year old brain, was that he would and did commit suicide.

The man who saw me, loved me unconditionally, and always made everything better was gone in an instant. I felt abandoned and alone and wanted to join him. These are still feelings that I combat on a regular basis. The world would never be the same.

It's been 22 1/2 years since and I am still affected everyday by his choice. Most days I choose to be positive. Over the years I have been angry, sad, and grateful, sometimes all at once. On this Father's day eve I look back, and ask myself what lessons did I learn.

1. You must love yourself first, or you will lose yourself.
2. Love is real.
3. The gospel of Jesus Christ is true.
4. Thoughts are real and lead to real action. Be careful when the bad thoughts come. Don't let them take away your happiness. 
5. See each day as a Great Day!
6. Love your family unconditionally.
7. Be thoughtful of each other.
8. Laugh.
9. Work hard at whatever you do.
10. Ask for support from the people you love and trust.

Fearless Fox Friday!

Building your tribe is a phrase I have been hearing a lot lately. We call it your fearbuster team at FLI, but I believe it is the same concept. "No one can be fearless alone" Rhonda Britten says, and it's true. Who do you have around you? Who is building you up and seeing your capability?  Who really has your back when the crap hits the fan? These people are your tribe.

Fearless Fox Friday!

Do you have a team of fearbusters behind you? That is the question today. I could go into the different kind of fearbusters to look for, but whether you have some is more important. Maybe I need to start with what is a fearbuster. Fearbusters, bust our fears. Simply put, they believe in us. They tell us "Yes you can" instead of "Are you sure that is wise, remember last time?" They see our potential and encourage us and support us in achieving our dreams. Fearbusters are powerful partners, cheerleaders, and voices of experience who rally us forward towards our true selves. They help us see past the lies and limitations to truly see our own rock star status. On the other hand, "Fear Junkies" discourage us, such as dream drainers, rearview mirrors, or rivals in disguise.

I have lots of supporters in my life. Some are better at it than others. I know who to go to for what and how to know their fears from mine. This was something learned with a lot of practice. How do you know who to go to for certain things? Sometimes you have a conversation with them and ask if they are willing to support you in this way. You really can't say the wrong thing to the right person. If they are your true tribe, they will be there for you when you ask. It is your job to be clear in what you are needing and ask for it.

If you are wanting to add a coach to your fearbuster team, I'm here for you. Email me and let's get together. Let's hatch into the stars that we are!

Fearless Fox Friday!

I talk to you each week about how you can make different choices and see the rock star inside yourself. This week I am going to talk about how I did that for myself.

Fearless Fox Friday!

This week I was asked to come into the locker room of a professional women's soccer team before the game and coach them on fear. At first, I was shocked and stoked for the opportunity. I thought about what I would say to them. What I would do if I got to talk to them more than once. I started to want to know more about the girls and what fears they might have. Then my fear stepped up and told me that this was too big for me and I needed my mom to come with me or I needed to find a way to back out. I told myself I wasn't what the coach wanted and the woman players didn't want me either. In the course of a couple weeks I had told myself a lot of things.

Then the day came, and I knew what I wanted to say roughly, but I still wasn't sure it was going to happen. When I got the call from the coach I was so excited. This was a rock star engagement! I was going to stand in front of these women and share with them a little of my soul. I was going to share with them a new way of thinking about fear and how they could walk past the self-doubt and be the AllStars that they are.

It came time to step in front of them. I was even announced by the coach. They all clapped as I approached my spot. This was it! This was my moment to shine my light for these women to see that all things are possible when they believe in themselves. I stepped up and owned the room. Was I scared? Oh yes! Was my fear trying to get me out of the room? Oh yes. But I stood my ground, and I shared with these amazing women my complete belief in them. They shared some of their fears with me and strategies they were already employing. I mean they are an undefeated professional team, they are pretty good at telling the fear "I've got this, calm down." We talked about the negative self-talk and the doubts that plague us all. I was clear and uplifting, and they clapped when I was finished! It was a major confidence booster and an amazing experience. I for sure felt like a Rock Star.

I tell you this, not to toot my own horn, but to show you that this is a process for all of us. We are all in a state of hatching from our shell and becoming a star. For me, this was a big week of growing,

and other weeks it feels like I am reconstructing my shell. We are all moving along a path that is constructed of choices. Are you willing to make the choices necessary to get you where you want to be? I'm here to support you. Are you wanting to define what kind of a star you want to hatch into? I'm your girl. Do you need someone who completely believes in you and your ability to live your dreams? That is my superpower. Email me at letshatch@gmail.com and we can set up an appointment, and get started. Come be a Rock Star with me!

Fearless Fox Friday!

It took me so long to think of what to share with you this week. I finally decided to share something I learned this week. I am always learning and growing myself. I think that is important for all of us to see and witness. No one is immune to life, regardless of how many tools we have or how long we have been practicing them. If someone is telling you they never deal with fear, I say walk the other way. Even the goddess of fear herself, Rhonda Britten, deals with her fear.

Fearless Fox Friday!

I have been married for almost 15 years. If you follow me on Facebook you will know this. I post lots of pictures and I also have 5 kids which I post lots of pictures of. Now in true Facebook fashion I usually only post the happy moments, but with any relationship, there are moments that are not happy. Jay, my husband, and I were introduced by friends. Having never met we started emailing each other in the beginning of January. In true early 2000 fashion, we got to know each other this way until my birthday in late January when he finally got the nerve to call me. We started having 5 to 6-hour conversations. I would ask him question after question about his family and stories of his life. Of course, I felt like I knew him so well. So it wasn't weird to me at all when he proposed on February 18th after only seeing each other once. I know this sounds crazy and possibly romantic. We were married on July 7th of 2001, 6 months after our first email. Now people have said, "When you know, you know." I guess we could qualify with that, but I think we chose the difficult way. 

After a hard first year of marriage, I would go to my married friends and ask if it was going to get better. They would tell me that the first year is always hard. When it came to year 3 I stopped asking if it was going to get better, because they really didn't know what to say anymore. In year 4 we separated twice, each time for a month. Each time we both chose we wanted to fight for each other, and stay together. The road back was not easy. Year 5 and 6 were still difficult. One time in year 6, I thought "This is it, I'm done." and I cried on the couch for hours. He eventually he came out of our room and told me exactly what I needed to hear, exactly. This has happened about 5 or 6 times in our marriage over the years.

Year 7 was pretty good. We started to actually get our stuff together and take care of each other better. I let go of a lot of expectations and wants I was calling needs. He practiced being a better communicator and got a new job, where he could be home more. Things started improving and we got into a groove. Whenever we felt like we were slipping back, we'd stop and look at the situation. Things continued along this way until last year, when once again we were faced with a serious situation that ended in both of us questioning if we were going to make it. We talked a lot, we still talk a lot. We had to get real honest with each other and be very vulnerable, transparent even. Which is not easy when trust has been strained and we may not have really liked each other in the moment. We did it anyway. We continue to fight, even when we don't know if it will work, we fight for each other and for our family. 

So, the reason I am telling you all of this is because it was brought to my attention, that the fact that we do this is special. For me, I see all the struggle, pain, and work. Others see the result of all that, which is that we are still together. We have a beautiful family, and we are still committed to making our marriage work no matter what. I must say though that it has definitely taken us BOTH wanting to be here and do the work. It would not have worked otherwise. We have been through a lot and we choose every day, sometimes more than once, to be together. It's an active choice, followed up by lots of proactive behaviors, talking, and being willing to do the work necessary. 

Change is not easy, being vulnerable is not easy, talking about the same issue the 30th time is not easy, but if this relationship is what you both want, it can work.

If you would like support with this or anything else, please contact me. Letshatch@gmail.com

Fearless Fox Friday!

This week has been interesting. I've been in New York City with great friends and my mom, leading up to the Pathways to Change Workshop. The workshop starts tomorrow and goes to Sunday. We have done a lot of great things, and some firsts.

Fearless Fox Friday!
In honor of me being at the pathway to change workshop, I will talk about the 8th step on the fearless path, which is possibilities.

Possibilities are what made this adventure to New York happen. My mom is supporting this workshop and with her help I was given the chance to come. I said "Yes!" My friend asked where do you want to go, I stayed open and said "Yes!" To all the options that sounded good to me. I was open and willing to try new things, go places I hadn't gone, and see the adventure.

Because, of my willingness we had lunch on a rooftop in time square, go see the Broadway show Beautiful, and finally go to some food places I've been wanting to go to. We learned how to make live Facebook videos that we shared with you. I feel like I'm ready to shine and share my light more. I'm trusting myself more, and continuing to love myself through everyday. This was all supported by me being willing to step into possibilities.

Where have possibilities taken you? Where can it take you going forward? I have always wanted to travel, but that has been a stepping stone to where it is taking me. Are you ready and willing to step into possibilities? Then Let's Hatch!  Email me at letshatch@gmail.com or comment below or on my Facebook page. Also, if you'd like more information on pathway to change check out my other website www.fearlessgenerations.org. We talk about all 12 steps there and much more.

Fearless Fox Friday!

This week I have had a lot going on. I'm just not sure it's information to be shared here. My goal for this blog is to inspire you, to share a tool, or share a part of my journey with the purpose of supporting you in yours. Today I choose to share the number one tool for me when I first start my fearless journey.

Fearless Fox Friday!
I started my Fearless Living journey about 10 years ago. I started with attending a Fearless Book Group. We read Rhonda's first book, Fearless Living. After a couple months, I knew that I had found my tribe. I started my process to become a certified fearless living coach.

The number one tool I used at the beginning was asking myself "Is this true? Or am I making it up?" I challenged every thought, choice, and action. I'd ask myself, do I really hate fish? I'd ask myself, is green really my favorite color? I'd also ask myself, do I really think I am unintelligent? Do I really love my husband? Am I small and incapable of change? The questions were small and the questions were big. The important part was to ask them. To challenge the things that I had told myself.

Your challenge is to ask yourself this question: Am I making it up, or is it true? Ask yourself this with small things and more importantly big things. Challenge everything that you label yourself with, everything you call yourself, and everything you believe about yourself. I want to know what happens. Please come back and share. What changed, what awarenesses did you have, and where were you willing to let go and change?

If you are wanting support with this or anything else, please email me or comment here. Let's get started on facing those lies, filters, or false beliefs you have about yourself. Let's hatch into the new you!

Fearless Fox Friday!

Since we are coming up on Mother's Day, I thought I would talk about mothers. The ones we had, the ones we think we had, the ones we wanted, and the ones we are. This idea was not original. Someone else that I follow sent me an email titled something like what What I learned from my mother. This brought a light to my mind of an idea I wanted to share with you on work I have been doing on this subject myself. How this has all affected my journey. Also, what I do as a mother because of my process.

Fearless Fox Friday!

The mother I had growing up and the one I have now are very different. When I was young, my mother's main focus was on looking and being perceived as perfect. I was a reflection of her ability to be a perfect mother. I did not reflect that well, and that caused conflict and a lot of tears on my behalf. Not that I was a bad child, actually I tried very hard to be a good child. Though I was sloppy and not always the sharpest pencil in the box. I tested her a lot and had her prove to me over and over again that I was forgettable and unworthy of her praise. So the lessons I chose to learn from her were that I didn't measure up and I was kind of a disappointment. She is not the only person I tested, but we are only talking about her today. I used all of this evidence throughout my life to play small and construct a negative self-talk dialog of fear that looked and sounded just like her. This record consisted of telling myself that I was stupid, fat and ugly. I was incapable of doing anything praiseworthy, and if I did I shouldn't expect anyone to notice. I used this as an excuse to keep myself from most of my dreams, and I used her as the reason my life was not what I wanted it to be.

After my dad died when I was 16, my mom started to make changes in her life. She sought therapy and asked for help. She did the work to change herself. Did it happen overnight? Oh no, not at all. It has been an ongoing process for her for the last 22 years or so. She now has taught me that someone can change. Someone can learn from their mistakes, and at any age change their behavior dramatically. This is what I have actually learned from my mom. Even from a small girl I have felt that my mom could do anything. She seemed capable of leaping small buildings if she needed to. I still have this opinion of my mom. She has a great confidence in herself. Now though it comes from a place of compassion and self-love.

I think often as children we take lessons away from situations that the adults or even other children involved never intended us to. My challenge is to reassess those stories that we remember from our childhood of disappointment and see if there is another way of looking at them. Did our parent give up on us, or give up on themselves and their ability to parent us effectively? Did that child reject us, or were they dealing with their own pain of a situation we never knew about? Did we not get the part in the school play because we were second best, or did the director really think we would have more fun or were better suited for another role? Whatever you have been holding on to and using as an excuse to play small or think you can't have your dreams, let it go! Let go of the limiting beliefs; let go of perfection; let go of the evidence of you being anything else than amazing; let go of what you thought were the motives of others. Live your life from a clean slate. Learn from my mom. You can change at any age and from any place in your life. Let go of the negative self-talk. Replace it with the truth: you are amazing, you are capable, you are beautiful, you are worthy of your dreams. If you need a voice in your head, use mine. I will tell you every day, You are a Rock Star!

As someone who is trained in helping others overcome their fears, I have worked with people who are wanting to change their choices. My mother has worked hard, and she has changed. I have a very different understanding of who she was when I was young. I see who she is now, and I can appreciate the effort it has taken her. This effort gives me hope to continue in my own effort to become a better mother myself. Each day I try to be better, and I know I can. Every time that I say something that wasn't nice, I know I can apologize. Every time I don't show up the way I want to, I know I can tomorrow. Every time I'm scared and my fear is "in my face," I know that I am capable.

The new voice in my head is a combination of myself and my mom and Rhonda Britten and other people who believe in me. I choose now to believe the good about myself. I choose to build evidence of all the things I'm good at. I choose to believe I am worthy of my dreams and living big. I choose to let go of all the limiting beliefs of my childhood and see myself in my truth. I choose to trust myself and see my capabilities. I choose to love myself. I choose to tell myself the truth. I choose to be a Rock Star!

Are you ready to hatch into a Rock Star? Email me, and let's get started. Let's Hatch!

Fearless Fox Friday!

It's Friday again and with that comes reflection on what I have learned this week or what do I feel like I want to share with you all. To be honest it didn't jump out at me this week. I have had sick kids all week and I have been kind of down myself. Not staying with my routine and not listening to myself about what I need to start my day right. I've been kind of blowing myself off, to complain and make excuses to why I'm not feeling it. Luckily for me that can only last so long these days, before I drive myself crazy and kick my own rear in gear. What do you do when your lazy bug comes? Or you are experiencing a low? Do you have a plan? Do you have a backup team?

Fearless Fox Friday!

Do you have a routine? What are your feelings towards structure? For me, it has been something that I have shied away from. I never thought I could be consistent, so then I thought there was no reason to try. Do you have to be consistent? If you feel that you do, how can you support yourself with consistency? It is important to me, and when I tried and didn't succeed I would beat myself up. It helped me to shy away from trying again.

For me, I first had to decide what was important to me and what supported me. I listened to myself and my body. I learned that if I didn't get myself up by a certain time, I would feel tired and unproductive. I learned that going to the gym, or going for a walk as a family, or a bike ride with my son really made me feel good about myself. Giving myself time for my acknowledgments and gratitudes every day supported me too. Having time for reflection of myself and my day or my process supported me.

Then all I needed to do was choose when in my day I would fit these things with my responsibilities. It will take some trial and error in the process of finding what exactly supports you. Stay at it, you will find the best way to support yourself. That's not where it ends. If these new habits are not an easy shift, how can you best support your own process? Do you need an accountability partner? Do you have some kind or check system? Can you ask someone to join you in the activity to make it more fun or a competition of sorts?

The new challenge is to take some time this week with yourself and ask "what supports me to start/end my day in the best way?" Make a plan on how you will do those things. Ask for support or companionship. Set yourself up for success.

As we continue to listen to ourselves and do the things we are prompted it will support us. We will remain on our path to hatch out of our shells in freedom.

Let's Hatch